Getting Older as a Woman: The Unexpected Freedom of Caring Less About Being Liked

We talk a lot about what women supposedly lose as we get older.

Youth.

Smooth skin.

Energy.

Patience for high heels. 😂

But nobody talks nearly enough about what we gain.

And one of my favorites is this:

I care a whole lot less about everybody liking me.

That is freedom.

Being likable is a lot of damn work

Think about how much energy women can spend managing how other people experience us.

Soften your opinion.

Don't sound angry.

Explain your no.

Smile.

Be understanding.

Give another chance.

Don't make anybody uncomfortable.

Don't be difficult.

Be nice.

Be grateful.

Be pleasant.

After decades of that, you may not even realize how often you're editing yourself before anybody else gets to meet you.

Then something starts changing

Maybe it's age.

Maybe it's experience.

Maybe it's finally being exhausted by your own performance.

But one day somebody doesn't like your decision and instead of immediately trying to repair their opinion of you, you think:

Okay. 😂That's it.

No emergency.

No dissertation explaining your intentions.

No calling three friends to determine whether you're secretly a terrible person.

Somebody is disappointed.

And somehow the sun still comes up.

Disappointing somebody doesn't automatically mean you're wrong

This lesson can change a woman's life.

Someone can dislike your boundary and the boundary can still be appropriate.

Someone can misunderstand your decision and you don't have to chase them down.

Someone can say you've changed.

Maybe you have.

Change isn't automatically an accusation.

Sometimes it's evidence that you've stopped arranging your entire identity around keeping everybody comfortable.

Maybe you're not becoming difficult

Maybe you're becoming honest.

There is a difference.

And sometimes coming home to yourself doesn't look dramatic.

It looks like:

No.

I don't want to.

That's not for me.

I disagree.

I changed my mind.

I like this.

I don't like that.

I'm going anyway.

I'm not explaining it again.

Little sentences.

Big freedom.

🤎 Coach Yolanda's Corner

No workbook today.

No assessment.

No homework. 😂

I want you to notice something you're already doing differently.

What's one thing you've stopped doing because you no longer need everybody to approve of you?

Maybe you stopped over-explaining your no.

Maybe you wear what the hell you want.

Maybe you stopped chasing people who misunderstand you.

Maybe you finally realized:

Somebody else's disappointment doesn't automatically mean I've done something wrong.

That's not small.

Sometimes coming home to yourself looks less like a huge breakthrough and more like realizing:

Damn. I don't do that stuff anymore.

Come tell me yours.

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