You've Become a Scholar of Your Own Abuse. And It's Keeping You Stuck. by Coach Yolanda

Let me tell you something nobody else will say to you.

You don't need another video about narcissistic supply.

You don't need another breakdown of the abuse cycle.

You don't need to watch one more expert explain what gaslighting is.

You already know.

You could teach a masterclass on covert narcissism at this point. You can spot a flying monkey from three zip codes away. You've memorized the four phases of narcissistic abuse. You know what DARVO stands for, what reactive abuse looks like, why trauma bonding keeps you stuck.

You have a PhD in the Narcissist's Pathology.

So why are you still up at 2am Googling them?

Here's the Part You Don't Want to Hear

The research isn't healing you anymore.

It's keeping you connected to them.

Every time you search "why do narcissists hoover" or "signs he's a covert narcissist" or "narcissistic injury explained"—you're not processing your trauma. You're reliving it. You're circling the same wound over and over, calling it "research" when really it's just a socially acceptable way to stay mentally attached to someone who destroyed you.

I know this lands hard. I know you want to argue with me right now.

"But I NEED to understand what happened to me."

Beloved, you already understand. You've understood for months—maybe years. What you don't have is a plan for what comes NEXT.

And that's the part that scares you.

Because once you stop researching THEM, you have to start facing YOU.

The woman who lost herself. The woman who doesn't know who she is anymore. The woman who's terrified that maybe she's too broken to ever come back.

Your Research Has Become an Addiction

I'm not being dramatic. I'm being clinical.

When you compulsively research narcissism, your brain gets a hit of dopamine. You feel validated. You feel understood. You feel like you're doing something about your pain.

But you're not. You're just scratching the wound.

And here's what's really happening: Every minute you spend researching the narcissist is a minute you're not spending rebuilding yourself. Every article you save is evidence that you're still making THEM the center of your story. Every late-night YouTube spiral is you giving them power they don't even know they have anymore.

They're probably not even thinking about you. But you're still orbiting their pathology like it's the sun.

That's not healing. That's hostage-taking by your own brain.

The Question You've Been Avoiding

You've asked a thousand questions about them:

"Why did they do this?"

"Will they change for the new supply?"

"Do they even realize what they did?"

"Are they a narcissist or just emotionally unavailable?"

But when's the last time you asked yourself:

"What made me laugh before them?"

"What did I dream about before I met them?"

"Who was I when I wasn't surviving?"

You probably can't answer those. And that should terrify you more than anything the narcissist ever did.

Because the abuse took something more than your peace. It took your identity. And no amount of research about THEM is going to give it back.

It's 2026. What Are You Going to Do Differently?

You spent 2024 discovering you were abused.

You spent 2025 researching it.

Are you really going to spend 2026 still Googling them at 2am?

Because that's where this is headed. The algorithm knows you. It's going to keep feeding you content about narcissists until you're 65 years old, still watching videos titled "Why Narcissists Discard You" while the narcissist has moved on three relationships ago.

They're not thinking about you.

But you're thinking about them every single day.

That's not justice. That's not healing. That's a prison sentence you keep renewing.

What If You Redirected That Energy?

You've proven you can commit to research. You've proven you can show up, night after night, digging for answers. You've proven you have the capacity to obsess.

What if you aimed that superpower at yourself instead?

What if, instead of Googling "narcissistic supply," you asked yourself what YOUR needs are?

What if, instead of watching another video about trauma bonding, you worked on breaking YOUR bond?

What if, instead of analyzing their pathology, you started excavating YOUR identity?

The same brain that memorized every manipulation tactic is capable of remembering who you were before the abuse. The same dedication that made you an expert in NPD can make you an expert in YOU.

But you have to choose to redirect.

I Built Something for Women Like You

I've been where you are. I've been the woman with 47 tabs open about narcissism at midnight. I've been the one who could explain supply and discard cycles better than my own hopes and dreams.

And I had to learn—the hard way—that understanding the narcissist will never heal you. Only understanding YOURSELF will.

That's why I created "You've Got a PhD in the Narcissist's Pathology. Now What?"—a 7-day identity detox workbook for women who know everything about their abuser and almost nothing about themselves anymore.

Inside:

• The 2AM Redirect Protocol — for when the urge to Google hits (and it will)

• 3 CBT Techniques that actually work for narc abuse survivors

• The Evidence Check — proof you were powerful before they broke you

• Daily Excavation Exercises to remember HER—the woman you were before survival mode

This isn't another resource about narcissists. This is a resource about YOU. The you that got buried under all that research. The you that deserves as much attention as you've given them.

$27 and 7 Days

That's it. That's the investment. Less than you spend on coffee in a week. Less than the cost of the anxiety meds you're probably taking. Less than the therapy session you keep putting off.

$27 to stop being a student of your abuser and become a student of yourself.

The second you purchase, the workbook hits your inbox. No waiting. No shipping. You can start tonight—instead of Googling them tonight.

Because here's the thing: You're going to spend the next 7 days doing SOMETHING. You're going to be up at 2am doing SOMETHING. The question is whether that something brings you closer to who you are—or keeps you chained to who hurt you.

You've got a PhD in the narcissist's pathology.

Now what?

Now you study YOU.

GET THE WORKBOOK → $27

Here: https://www.yolandadeniseco.com/product-page/you-ve-got-a-phd-in-the-narcissist-s-pathology-now-what

Stop researching them. Start excavating you.

2026 is waiting.

With love and a little tough truth,

Coach Yolanda

My Human Diary Relationship Coaching LLC

Trauma-Informed • CBT • Therapeutic Art Life Coach