Detoxing the Trauma: You can't destroy a woman who has reconstructed herself with no support.
- Yolanda Durrah
- Jun 25
- 2 min read
1 | Call the Residue by Its Real Name
Fear, shame, hyper-vigilance, that reflexive flinch when your phone lights up—these aren’t quirks; they’re neurological souvenirs from narcissistic abuse. If you don’t label them, they’ll label you.
Tonight’s assignmentTitle a page “Borrowed Beliefs.” List every lie your abuser—or their flying monkeys—planted in your head. Draw a bold strike-through line across each one. Out loud, say: “Return to sender.” That slash is the first eviction notice.
2 | Interrupt the Survival Loop
Trauma loops between your amygdala (alarm) and your body’s panic response. Break the loop with breath and sensory override.
When you feel… | Hit pause like this (30 sec) |
Heart racing | Inhale 4 → hold 4 → exhale 8. Longer exhale flips the vagus-nerve switch. |
Foggy / detached | Bare feet on the floor. Name three textures you feel—out loud. |
Shame spiral | Cold water over wrists, meet your eyes in the mirror, say “I’m safe now”—twice. |
Run the drill until your body realizes it’s 2025, not the day they broke you.
3 | Reclaim the Voice They Tried to Silence
A narcissist banks on your hush. Speak louder. Journal in fonts so huge they feel rebellious. Read your own words back to yourself. Volume is exposure therapy for a throat on lockdown.
Micro-challenge
Call a trusted sister-friend. Start one sentence with “Today I realized…” and talk for sixty unfiltered seconds. No disclaimers. No apologies. That’s muscle memory for truth.
4 | Regulate, Then Redesign
When your nervous system calms, confidence growth stops feeling like fiction. You’ll notice:
Shoulders drop without reminders.
Decisions hit faster; you trust the first answer.
External chaos sparks curiosity, not panic.
That’s the Phase 1 payoff: “I feel grounded, whole, and emotionally safe.” Skip detox and you’re hanging wallpaper inside a burning house.
5 | Weekly Action Plan
Morning Reset – 5 min – Ten power breaths, quick body scan, set one boundary intention.
Midday Pattern Check – Ask: “Am I reacting or choosing?” If reacting, run the 30-sec interrupt.
Evening Debrief – Journal one borrowed belief confronted, one boundary enforced, one sensation of safety noticed.
Sunday Audit – Rate the week 1–10 for emotional safety. Anything under 7 gets a plan, not shame.
These habits aren’t just for you—they’re blueprints your next generation will inherit. That’s how cycles break and generational habits begin.
Grab Your Free Starter Guide
Ready for a deeper dive before the full program drops? Download the Trauma Detox Starter Pack—a mini-workbook with my top nervous-system hacks and boundary scripts.
(That short link redirects to the full resource page and lets you hop on the email list for early-bird enrollment.)
Ready to Rebuild?
Detox is the demolition crew—loud, necessary, gloriously messy. The full Trauma Detox: 7× Your Confidence program is coming soon. Stay tuned; seats will be limited so the work stays intimate and unapologetically effective.
You survived the collapse. Now let’s engineer the comeback—together.
Coach Yolanda
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